Cheers rang out through the halls of Hospital for Special Surgery along with choruses of "he's leaving, finally" as I was wheeled out yesterday and into an awaiting ambulette ending a marathon 6 day stay at HSS following successful second hip surgery.
An "ambulette" is basically a van with a raised roof and a tail loader. It can double as a refrigerator delivery vehicle when inter-hospital transfer traffic is slow. The van is equipped with floor-mounted tie-down points to secure wheelchairs for the trip.
Every health insurance claim manager should be required to commute to work one day a month in a wheelchair teathered to the floor of an ambulette.
I say "teathered" because that's the best that my amiable ambulette driver (let's call her "Amy") was able to achieve even after a tighten-down adjustment following the first (of many) hard turn Amy took screaming out of HSS' driveway onto 69th Street. My wheelchair and I didn't take that turn, at least not at the same time that Amy and her ambulette of fun did. We followed like a yoyo follows a string tug. I'd say was pulling about 3 Gs.
Riding in Amy's ambulette is something like flying in NASA's padded training jet -- the one that simulates weightlessness for astronautsby flying parabolic trajectories, including the nauseau.
My body and wheelchair needed to be wound wrapped like paletized cargo to keep my freshly operated leg from swinging out beyond the "precautionary" limit during lane changes, especially when the van would go one way and my wheelchair the other way.
Enough about the ambulette. HSS was stellar; my docs and staff could not have been more professional, expert and accommodating. And the view east and south along the East River was grand.
The staff at Helen Hayes Hospital (in Haverstraw) greeted me like old friends, "he's back, ugh!"
At HHH I started with a "heart healthy" diet which translates to no taste, fewer calories. At 3:00 a.m. the hungries woke me. I need to make some adjustments.
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